Excerpt
As an unexpected warmth flows
into the room, running over my feet first, I freeze. It slowly crawls up my
body, touching my hands and forcing them to reach forward. As the heat
envelopes my head, I suddenly yearn to possess this deadly treasure, so I touch
it, and the pole comes off the wall with one pull. I embrace it, suddenly
feeling I will never be disconnected from my new lover, because it is me and I
am it. I swing, and it is light in my hands. The metal whistles as it slices
air, singing its song of perfection—perfect balance.
Suddenly, I am torn from my find
by a peculiar noise accompanied by the faint smell of rotten eggs. I know the
smell, and I run to the door, not wanting to be cornered in this room. That’s
when I see it standing in the road, and it’s huge—at least eight feet tall and
five feet wide, with dark brown skin and fur. I recognize the feet—all three of
them, situated like a tripod, with the center leg slightly forward. Its full
hideousness is far worse than its feet alone. The huge eyes that take up at
least 50 percent of its head stare at me while its mouth, which seems to take
up the other 50, quivers, drooling some dark liquid. I can’t be sure, but it
looks like it’s hungry. It stares at me as though I’m a huge medium rare
rib-eye steak. There are sprouts of fur here and there around its body, and its
arms dangle below its waist. It wears a large loincloth and short pants, both
shredded on the edges. There is also a band around its waist, somewhat
resembling an extra, extra, extra large fanny pack. I stand, frozen with fear
at the realization that I’ve been visited by yet another hideous creature. It
was not a dream. The delicious meal I just ate starts creeping up my throat,
but I swallow, keeping it at bay.
A noise escapes from behind the
creature. Its ears quiver, and its head turns all the way around like an owl’s,
then swivels back toward me. I’m amazed by its flexibility. Its skin seems to
be in constant movement, and it begins moving toward me quickly. It’s so fast.
And so big.
I grab the pole and stabilize
myself, knowing I cannot outrun this abomination, and it’s time to prove I can
take care of myself. Seconds before it reaches to grab me with its
monkey-length arms, I duck and swing the pole out, but the creature jumps over
me swiftly.
It lunges again quicker than
expected, and I manage to somehow cut my leg with my own weapon. The flow of
blood freezes me, vulnerability creeping up on me like a dark shadow. The
creature makes the jump toward me. I fall directly down, sticking my pole spade
straight up in its direction with my eyes closed. My movement is unexpected—by
both of us—so the creature comes down slightly crooked as my blade nicks the
inside of its leg.
Black ooze runs down its leg,
dripping onto the dirt. Black ooze. Before I lose myself to the visions, I
notice the tears in its eyes. This big, ugly creature—surely sent by Satan
himself—is crying, and reeks of regret?
“Ow! You hurt Bu! How could you?
Bu was only going to help you.” Its voice is undeniably male and youthful as it
wipes the dark ooze from its mouth on the back of his hand, then proceeds to
lick some off.
“Oh, gross,” I say, totally
disgusted. I hold the pole weapon out in front of me.
The tears are as big as his eyes
as they roll down his cheeks, and I find myself feeling bad I hurt him, even if
he was going to rip my throat out. I get closer to him, just out of arm’s
length, and say, “You were going to eat me! Is this a trick? You feign pain, I
come close, and then you eat me?”
He then does something
unexpected—giggles. It’s then that I feel it—purity. Purity of heart and soul
is spewing from him, like rays from a sun, warm and soft as cashmere.
“Wait,” I say as I sniff the air.
“You smell like chocolate.”
